Okay, so we didn’t get our grubby mitts on Ossu! Tatakae! Ouendan!, which probably got you thinking that Nintendo has -- again -- screwed us over by not releasing a game that we were dying to get here. Well, we can safely tell you to set those worries aside because if you’re dying to get your groove on with the latest in quirky styled rhythm, Nintendo’s got the answer for you in the form of Elite Beat Agents, the “Americanized” version of the hit Japanese game. You knew that already? What you really want to know is if it’s worth it? Okay, we don’t want to brag, but now that we’ve played it, we can certainly confirm that the game is fun, frantic, and freakin’ fantastic! Agents are go!

Facts and Features:

• Get ready to roll! As the music plays, players tap the screen, trace rhythmic patterns and keep the beat as the story unfolds on the top screen. They'll rock along to 19 licensed and re-recorded songs across multiple music genres, featuring tunes such as "Material Girl," "Walkie Talkie Man," "Rock This Town," and "Jumpin' Jack Flash."
  
  
• Every scene is accompanied by rump-shaking tunes, but it's up to players to help keep the Elite Beat Agents grooving. The worse they do, the worse the story might end up. Players also can try their skills in co-op or versus mode with up to three pals via local wireless.
  
  
• Rhythm games have come and gone, but there has never been anything like the Elite Beat Agents. Whether they're saving a tortured director from a certain flop or helping a babysitter charm a hunky quarterback, no crisis is too weird.
  

Save the World…
In Elite Beat Agents, you take control of a group of secret agents (who wear black suits and sunglasses), that work for a mysterious general called Commander Kahn who helps people and solves their problems. But solving problems is no easy task, so how do these guys pull it off? Oh baby, you need to dance the night away. Yeah, you read correctly; dance, dance, and dance like the night is young. And let’s face it, is there really any better way of solving problems? Anyway, when the Agents get together, they create some of the best (and weirdest!) choreography we’ve seen in the world of videogames. Dancing along some of the best themes from the ‘80s while trying to help a Paris Hilton wannabe? Please, don’t tell us you’re still not interested.

Elite Beat Agents has one of the most original presentations we’ve seen on the Nintendo DS since the great Phoenix Wright. Each of the game’s stages starts with a comic-styled cutscene that sets the mood for each tale. Some are stories of happiness, some are stories of love, and some are simply… weird. Whatever the case, these sequences are excellent, and are brimming with style. Whether you’re helping an Italian Casanova get the girl of his dreams, of helping an old sailor find the treasure of his life, Elite Beat Agents has it all. Does it sound weird enough? It is, but we don’t mind, because when weird is as funny as this game, all we can say is: Keep the weird coming.

…One Dance at a Time
But let’s talk about the game itself. The gameplay is easy to understand, but tough to master. First of all, you won’t need any buttons or control pads; this baby requires exclusive touch screen action. Are you a fan of old rhythm games like DDR and Guitar Hero? You’ll be right at home with Elite Beat Agents, then -- at least during the first stages. As each theme begins, small circles -- called “Hit Markers” -- will begin to appear on your touch screen, ready to be tapped. The little numbers in each circle will indicate the order in which you have to tap on each circle, before going to the next. However, you have to tap according to both the rhythm and a second circle that slowly closes the first. When this circle overlaps the first circle completely, then you can tap. Sounds easy, no? It probably will be if you have a good sense of rhythm, otherwise expect the game to be a bit harder for you.

In addition to tapping your screen, you will also have to master the “Phrase Marker.” With this, what you need to do is follow a ball that will appear sometimes during your playthrough. This ball has to be dragged along a bar with your stylus accordingly to the rhythm of the music, and this is when it sometimes gets difficult. Sometimes you have to juggle between tapping on your screen, and dragging your stylus at the same time… it’s frantic! Another mechanic is a wheel that appears during your choreographies, called the “Spinner Marker”. When it appears, spin your stylus (carefully, yes?) until the beat is done -- the longer you spin, the more points you’ll get!

Is there a reason for these little “markers” to appear? Yes there is. When you’re tapping, spinning and dragging, you’re not just moving circles, but rather the Agents! That’s how they dance for the people in need. We know, you’re probably thinking “How am I going to even look at what the Agents are doing if I’m going to be focusing on the touch screen action?” It’s true, sometimes you won’t even be able to pay attention to what the agents are doing (or what’s being showed in the usually hilarious comic-styled cutscenes on the top screen), but thankfully that’s what the “Replay Save” option is for -- so you can check out those awesome choreographies once you’re done. Trust us; you’ll need it in the higher difficulties.

Your progress will be displayed in a gauge that’s located at the top of the screen. The “Elite-o-Meter” (that’s what it’s called) will allow you to see how good you’ve been doing. Is it still on the yellow side? That means you’re doing a good job! Is it going red? Uh oh, be careful. The game is difficult, and there’s not much room to breathe when you’re playing through a level (at least the latter ones), but as many rhythm games, the game will score your abilities and precision, and will ban you when your sense of rhythm is simply off. However, one cannot deny the amazing design this game has, because even with its high difficulty, you’ll definitely want to keep playing in order to get better each and every time.


If only life were that “simple.”

Experienced players may try to finish this in one sitting, but realistically speaking, it will be hard for them to do so. After you beat the game once, you’ll unlock another difficulty level (with new songs), and when you finish the new level, it will grant you access to another difficulty level with another song. Don’t expect a small difference between these difficulty settings, the hardest level is crazy, and I guarantee you’ll have a hard time beating it without much practice. Even so, the great pick-up-and-play design will never frustrate you to the point of you not wanting to play it. If anything, every time you lose will be incentive to keep trying your best, and to tune up your rhythm skills.

The single player is lengthy enough, with 19 stages that will at least have you playing them twice, if not more times. Add to that the new difficulty levels and songs, and you have yourself quite a complete package.